The No Chicken Section, Please
One of my colleagues once entered a restaurant and asked to be seated in the "no chicken" section, as opposed to the "no smoking" section. I shouldn't laugh. Though I've had 9 months of full-time Russian language training, followed by 9 1/2 months of living in a Russian speaking country, last week I couldn't properly ask my friend if he wanted a ride home. Instead, I asked “Can I lead you? [as a parent leads a child by the hand].” Fortunately, I was not extending my hand at the time, and fortunately, he corrected me and told me what I should have said (usually people don't bother, so I do not have a good record of all the stupid and incorrect things I’ve said).
Nevertheless, mistakes like these are very frustrating--surely, I should be able to say something so simple after this much practice. I can safely say that learning to speak a foreign language is the most difficult project I've ever undertaken in my life, as it requires so much more than an academic understanding or the ability to memorize vocabulary. Instead, it is a performance, requiring an academic understanding of the grammar rules, a good memory, the stamina to listen well, the discipline to retrain your tongue for new sounds, and the self-confidence to make yourself speak even though you know you sound like an idiot. It's a very humbling process, and I have a newfound respect for my many foreign friends who (thankfully) have put in the hard work to learn English.
I console myself with the fact that Russian is considered one of the more difficult foreign languages for Americans to learn (Arabic, Chinese, Korean, and some others are even more difficult). The grammar is a crazy mess; nouns change depending on whether they are the subject of the sentence, the direct object, the indirect object, whether they show possession, etc.; adjectives change for the same reasons, and change again depending on whether the noun is masculine, feminine, neuter, or plural; and verbs change depending on who is performing the action, whether the action is performed in the past, present, or future tense, and whether the action is performed one time or regularly (they also change for gender in the past tense). And of course, there are many words that are special cases and do not change according to the normal rules. I liken the whole process to performing a complicated math problem in your head every time you want to say a sentence. Listening is not much easier; after about five minutes, my brain gets tired and I lose my concentration (like Homer Simpson thinking about circus music and monkeys when he’s supposed to be listening to something important).
At this point, I can confidently handle restaurants, stores, basic small talk, calling a taxi, giving directions, making introductions, and conveying basic factual information, and I can understand a little more than that, provided the speaker talks relatively slowly, doesn't mumble, and doesn't use slang. Anything more complicated than this and I get lost pretty quickly. I've been exposed to more advanced conversations and grammar, and will occasionally venture into some of this territory when my confidence is up, but for the most part it's not part of my "active" vocabulary, and I tend to retreat to what I know. I find myself on these long plateaus where I can't seem to improve, and cherish the occasional bursts (usually lasting a couple of days) when I feel like I'm really on top of my game and understanding things. These bits of progress usually occur when I spend time around friends who only speak Russian, and I'm forced to push myself and immerse my brain in listening to and speaking Russian. I try to put myself in these situations as often as I can, but the reality is I speak English all day in the office and take interpreters with me to meetings. Otherwise, I would never get anything done.
It's going to be a long process.
Nevertheless, mistakes like these are very frustrating--surely, I should be able to say something so simple after this much practice. I can safely say that learning to speak a foreign language is the most difficult project I've ever undertaken in my life, as it requires so much more than an academic understanding or the ability to memorize vocabulary. Instead, it is a performance, requiring an academic understanding of the grammar rules, a good memory, the stamina to listen well, the discipline to retrain your tongue for new sounds, and the self-confidence to make yourself speak even though you know you sound like an idiot. It's a very humbling process, and I have a newfound respect for my many foreign friends who (thankfully) have put in the hard work to learn English.
I console myself with the fact that Russian is considered one of the more difficult foreign languages for Americans to learn (Arabic, Chinese, Korean, and some others are even more difficult). The grammar is a crazy mess; nouns change depending on whether they are the subject of the sentence, the direct object, the indirect object, whether they show possession, etc.; adjectives change for the same reasons, and change again depending on whether the noun is masculine, feminine, neuter, or plural; and verbs change depending on who is performing the action, whether the action is performed in the past, present, or future tense, and whether the action is performed one time or regularly (they also change for gender in the past tense). And of course, there are many words that are special cases and do not change according to the normal rules. I liken the whole process to performing a complicated math problem in your head every time you want to say a sentence. Listening is not much easier; after about five minutes, my brain gets tired and I lose my concentration (like Homer Simpson thinking about circus music and monkeys when he’s supposed to be listening to something important).
At this point, I can confidently handle restaurants, stores, basic small talk, calling a taxi, giving directions, making introductions, and conveying basic factual information, and I can understand a little more than that, provided the speaker talks relatively slowly, doesn't mumble, and doesn't use slang. Anything more complicated than this and I get lost pretty quickly. I've been exposed to more advanced conversations and grammar, and will occasionally venture into some of this territory when my confidence is up, but for the most part it's not part of my "active" vocabulary, and I tend to retreat to what I know. I find myself on these long plateaus where I can't seem to improve, and cherish the occasional bursts (usually lasting a couple of days) when I feel like I'm really on top of my game and understanding things. These bits of progress usually occur when I spend time around friends who only speak Russian, and I'm forced to push myself and immerse my brain in listening to and speaking Russian. I try to put myself in these situations as often as I can, but the reality is I speak English all day in the office and take interpreters with me to meetings. Otherwise, I would never get anything done.
It's going to be a long process.
posted by Cosmic Stan at 2:41 PM
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